Blog Direction

I've not done much with this blog, it's hardly how I imagined this place would be.

Most of what I thought would be on the blog just ends up on Facebook and Instagram and I feel like this ends up being redundant.

That being said, I plan on taking this page to a new place. I'll have weekly updates featuring either a recipe, home idea or project, an adventure we've had or any fitness and health progress. Just a more formalized presentation of things you may only see snippets of throughout the week! 

So please, stayed tuned! First new post will be coming Saturday afternoon or evening 

thoughts on introversion and the western church

I've been reading "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain. I've seen her TED Talk on introversion and have seen several quotes from this book and decided I needed to read it. I really appreciated her addressing introverts in evangelicalism (although, I don't classify myself as an evangelical, I grew up in that environment and still come in contact with it frequently). I'm only halfway through the book, but it finally prompted me to write this post about introverts in Western Christianity I've been completing for some time.

It's interesting how people now tend to measure a person's faith by how many people they "minister" to (minister meaning talking to them gregariously about faith), how friendly they are during "meet-and-greet" time, how many groups and programs they are involved it, and how loudly they sing, pray and generally how out-going they are. There was a time when piety was measured in quiet devotion, contemplation and prayer.

It should then be no surprise that the average introvert feels isolated and dysfunctional in large, loud group church settings. But quiet does not mean disconnected, lack of involvement in programs does not mean lack of growth. Introverts tend to grow and learn the best in solitude; they have the capacity to challenge themselves and this typically inspires genius creativity and breakthroughs of thought. This is something which the modern church has simply ignored, favoring bringing people together in some sort of forced "community". Typically, only extraverts tend to thrive in that environment, leaving the rest of us on the sidelines feeling as if somehow our faith is inadequate because we don't long to socialize ("minister") as much other congregants.

This is something I've long made peace with. We attend a church service occasionally. But for the most part, my faith is a quiet walk with God. Not quiet as in ashamed, but quiet as in peaceful, introspective. And it's possible to "minister" in ways other than verbal proselytizing, something at which I'd simply be inefficient. The fact of the matter is, although God likes to test my limits and I try to be flexible and grow, He created me to introverted and loves my personality whether or not it looks like magnetic personality leading a song service or Sunday school class.

Well, it's been over a year since I've made a blog entry. It's easy to get caught up in the mundane and mediocre and forget that there are treasured moments worth chronicling. It's also easy, at least for me, to keep everything to myself in my safe, introverted bubble. However, I think I may have something to offer the world, even on such a small platform and self-expression can be rewarding in and of itself.

I've also updated my PCOS blog with some of the recent health changes and breakthroughs that have been happening. Maybe it can encourage someone.

These summer days have been full of hiding in the air conditioning with Netflix, farmers markets, sitting on "my rock" by the river at work, cookouts with friends and enjoying more free time than I have in years. Trying to fill that free time productively, but more often than not I give into the Internet, haha. The last few months haven't been free of their struggles, however, but as Alex and I have faced these challenges we've only grown closer to each other and to our Savior.

Anyway, the summer is almost over and I'm ready for the change into fall. I'm ready for beautiful fall hikes, hopefully going back-packing with Alex, crisp mornings, cozy sweaters and boots. I hope I don't sounds like a typical white girl, but fall is when I feel the most alive. The summer makes me feel lazy and sweaty.. autumn is energizing. I need a recharge, a fresh perspective and October usually does the job :)

life-changing

I think it's weird when people describe something as "life-changing" because literally every choice we make is life-changing to some extent. For example, this morning I woke up at 9:00 instead of 8:30 like I had planned because that gosh-darn snooze button is so handy. And that choice changed my life. My entire day would have been different had I got out of bed at 8:30.

Which leads me think: am I making good choices? And I don't just mean "big" choices, like should I move to Africa? Should I just say no to drugs? I mean little, everyday choices. Because those are the choices that, sometimes slowly and gradually, change your life. And are those choices adding up to something good or bad?

Everyday I choose to workout, I am building a stronger, healthier body.

Everyday I choose to follow my weekly cleaning chart, I am making a happier home for my husband and I.

Everyday I choose to eat healthy, I am nurturing my body.

Likewise, when I choose to not workout I am letting my muscles atrophy and fat to accumulate.

When I choose to skip out on cleaning I am letting disorder settle in and will have a bigger mess to deal with later.

When I choose to eat poorly I am not giving my body the nutrients I need.

Not to say that sometimes it's not okay to skip one day of working out or eat something unhealthy every now and then. But what is the cumulative affect? Skipping one day of cleaning and doubling up the next isn't that bad. Skipping one day of working out to rest is actually good. And something unhealthy now and again is one of the enjoyments of life.

I guess it's all about habits and moderation. 

Anyway, what kind of "life-changing" decisions are you making every day? Are you creating good or bad habits?

I know that when I chose to spend time with God every day and focus on walking with Him throughout my daily activities, I feel more at peace. And it's not big, dramatic, mountain top experiences with Him. It's just little times throughout the day, a greater awareness of His presence and an attitude of thankfulness.

Because we live life in the mundane, everyday activities. Those are what matter in the long run, so make them worthy of the gospel. 

Rainy days...

Rainy days always lead me to be introspective, productive and domestic. I'm not exactly sure why - it could be that rain inspires me to make coffee and the more coffee I drink the more alive I feel. Not exaggerating.

But really, I do feel more alive these days. I'm learning to cling to a higher Hope than this finite world and I think it has given me peace.

I get to quit my job next month and that thrills me. I feel like I was designed to be a housewife and that I was designed to be a mother and have a family. For the first time I feel at peace that I will have a child in God's time and I'm not letting my childlessness define me anymore. I am not less complete because of it, and that is a freeing thought. God will give us a child at the right time. I know He has not planted these desires in my heart to leave me downtrodden.

I have a pretty little container garden growing on my back steps and I am overjoyed that I have not killed my plants yet - despite many attempts! My house is clean and smells like honeysuckle and I have stayed up far too late.

I'm sure I have posted this verse a million times in a dozen other formats, but this is where I am living now. I have no fear of the future, for the first time in my life.

Long time, no post.

I'm settled in cozily, laundry running the washer, cup of coffee in my hand. We finally have our own place, Alex has a steady, well-paying job, and I'm quitting mine at the end of the summer. It's a new phase, me as the housewife, him as the provider, and hopefully a family in the near future. Hopefully a plot of land to build a country home in the next five years. And many years of learning to be joyfully content as I fall more in love with my husband and closer to Jesus every day ahead.

I can't express how grateful I've been. Nothing about my life has been what I imagined as a teenager. It is so much more than I could have dreamed.

I plan on getting back into blogging for real soon. I've got homemade recipes to share, pictures to take, fun stuff to chronicle.

Until then!

It's been too long.

No internet in our little camper home has made keeping this updated near impossible, but my laziness is what really did it in. So, for a brief update to whoever cares:

We live in Lenoir City now, still in the RV. About the same distance away from work and town, just in the opposite direction.

I still work at Starbucks, just got promote to a shift supervisor. The biggest blessing is, though, Alex found a job at the Tennessee Farmer's Co-Op, getting his hands dirty and talking farm talk with good ol' country boys, so he is thrilled to be there. He is still technically a temp worker, but is in training for a permanent position. He's making more money than he's ever made, and it looks like God is smiling on us financially. Our goal for the year is to wipe out what small debt we have left ( > $2,000) and build our savings.

Our Jeep Cherokee died, so we just bought a Saturn for me to drive. The Moeller's so generously let us borrow Emily's Bravada so Alex drives that, but we traded the Jeep in for a neat old Ford truck in very good condition, so once he changes the fuel pump and gets it running we'll have two vehicles of our very own. We looked and looked at vehicles but nothing would make Alex happier than a old truck he can tinker with and restore. Another smile from the Lord.

Housing is a different story. A friend of Alex's had told us that we could rent his rental home as soon as he was finished remodeling it, end of January-ish. So, we waited. End of January started to approach so we tried to get a hold of him, no luck. We tried several other times to no avail, so we are still in our little camper. We're keeping our eyes open, have spotted a few possibilities but now that winter is nearly behind us we are in no hurry. God will lead us to the right place at the right time.

It's fast approaching a year since we've lived in the South, and we feel more at home every day that passes. We're excited to see what lies ahead this year.