Blog Direction

I've not done much with this blog, it's hardly how I imagined this place would be.

Most of what I thought would be on the blog just ends up on Facebook and Instagram and I feel like this ends up being redundant.

That being said, I plan on taking this page to a new place. I'll have weekly updates featuring either a recipe, home idea or project, an adventure we've had or any fitness and health progress. Just a more formalized presentation of things you may only see snippets of throughout the week! 

So please, stayed tuned! First new post will be coming Saturday afternoon or evening 

thoughts on introversion and the western church

I've been reading "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain. I've seen her TED Talk on introversion and have seen several quotes from this book and decided I needed to read it. I really appreciated her addressing introverts in evangelicalism (although, I don't classify myself as an evangelical, I grew up in that environment and still come in contact with it frequently). I'm only halfway through the book, but it finally prompted me to write this post about introverts in Western Christianity I've been completing for some time.

It's interesting how people now tend to measure a person's faith by how many people they "minister" to (minister meaning talking to them gregariously about faith), how friendly they are during "meet-and-greet" time, how many groups and programs they are involved it, and how loudly they sing, pray and generally how out-going they are. There was a time when piety was measured in quiet devotion, contemplation and prayer.

It should then be no surprise that the average introvert feels isolated and dysfunctional in large, loud group church settings. But quiet does not mean disconnected, lack of involvement in programs does not mean lack of growth. Introverts tend to grow and learn the best in solitude; they have the capacity to challenge themselves and this typically inspires genius creativity and breakthroughs of thought. This is something which the modern church has simply ignored, favoring bringing people together in some sort of forced "community". Typically, only extraverts tend to thrive in that environment, leaving the rest of us on the sidelines feeling as if somehow our faith is inadequate because we don't long to socialize ("minister") as much other congregants.

This is something I've long made peace with. We attend a church service occasionally. But for the most part, my faith is a quiet walk with God. Not quiet as in ashamed, but quiet as in peaceful, introspective. And it's possible to "minister" in ways other than verbal proselytizing, something at which I'd simply be inefficient. The fact of the matter is, although God likes to test my limits and I try to be flexible and grow, He created me to introverted and loves my personality whether or not it looks like magnetic personality leading a song service or Sunday school class.

Well, it's been over a year since I've made a blog entry. It's easy to get caught up in the mundane and mediocre and forget that there are treasured moments worth chronicling. It's also easy, at least for me, to keep everything to myself in my safe, introverted bubble. However, I think I may have something to offer the world, even on such a small platform and self-expression can be rewarding in and of itself.

I've also updated my PCOS blog with some of the recent health changes and breakthroughs that have been happening. Maybe it can encourage someone.

These summer days have been full of hiding in the air conditioning with Netflix, farmers markets, sitting on "my rock" by the river at work, cookouts with friends and enjoying more free time than I have in years. Trying to fill that free time productively, but more often than not I give into the Internet, haha. The last few months haven't been free of their struggles, however, but as Alex and I have faced these challenges we've only grown closer to each other and to our Savior.

Anyway, the summer is almost over and I'm ready for the change into fall. I'm ready for beautiful fall hikes, hopefully going back-packing with Alex, crisp mornings, cozy sweaters and boots. I hope I don't sounds like a typical white girl, but fall is when I feel the most alive. The summer makes me feel lazy and sweaty.. autumn is energizing. I need a recharge, a fresh perspective and October usually does the job :)

life-changing

I think it's weird when people describe something as "life-changing" because literally every choice we make is life-changing to some extent. For example, this morning I woke up at 9:00 instead of 8:30 like I had planned because that gosh-darn snooze button is so handy. And that choice changed my life. My entire day would have been different had I got out of bed at 8:30.

Which leads me think: am I making good choices? And I don't just mean "big" choices, like should I move to Africa? Should I just say no to drugs? I mean little, everyday choices. Because those are the choices that, sometimes slowly and gradually, change your life. And are those choices adding up to something good or bad?

Everyday I choose to workout, I am building a stronger, healthier body.

Everyday I choose to follow my weekly cleaning chart, I am making a happier home for my husband and I.

Everyday I choose to eat healthy, I am nurturing my body.

Likewise, when I choose to not workout I am letting my muscles atrophy and fat to accumulate.

When I choose to skip out on cleaning I am letting disorder settle in and will have a bigger mess to deal with later.

When I choose to eat poorly I am not giving my body the nutrients I need.

Not to say that sometimes it's not okay to skip one day of working out or eat something unhealthy every now and then. But what is the cumulative affect? Skipping one day of cleaning and doubling up the next isn't that bad. Skipping one day of working out to rest is actually good. And something unhealthy now and again is one of the enjoyments of life.

I guess it's all about habits and moderation. 

Anyway, what kind of "life-changing" decisions are you making every day? Are you creating good or bad habits?

I know that when I chose to spend time with God every day and focus on walking with Him throughout my daily activities, I feel more at peace. And it's not big, dramatic, mountain top experiences with Him. It's just little times throughout the day, a greater awareness of His presence and an attitude of thankfulness.

Because we live life in the mundane, everyday activities. Those are what matter in the long run, so make them worthy of the gospel. 

Rainy days...

Rainy days always lead me to be introspective, productive and domestic. I'm not exactly sure why - it could be that rain inspires me to make coffee and the more coffee I drink the more alive I feel. Not exaggerating.

But really, I do feel more alive these days. I'm learning to cling to a higher Hope than this finite world and I think it has given me peace.

I get to quit my job next month and that thrills me. I feel like I was designed to be a housewife and that I was designed to be a mother and have a family. For the first time I feel at peace that I will have a child in God's time and I'm not letting my childlessness define me anymore. I am not less complete because of it, and that is a freeing thought. God will give us a child at the right time. I know He has not planted these desires in my heart to leave me downtrodden.

I have a pretty little container garden growing on my back steps and I am overjoyed that I have not killed my plants yet - despite many attempts! My house is clean and smells like honeysuckle and I have stayed up far too late.

I'm sure I have posted this verse a million times in a dozen other formats, but this is where I am living now. I have no fear of the future, for the first time in my life.

Long time, no post.

I'm settled in cozily, laundry running the washer, cup of coffee in my hand. We finally have our own place, Alex has a steady, well-paying job, and I'm quitting mine at the end of the summer. It's a new phase, me as the housewife, him as the provider, and hopefully a family in the near future. Hopefully a plot of land to build a country home in the next five years. And many years of learning to be joyfully content as I fall more in love with my husband and closer to Jesus every day ahead.

I can't express how grateful I've been. Nothing about my life has been what I imagined as a teenager. It is so much more than I could have dreamed.

I plan on getting back into blogging for real soon. I've got homemade recipes to share, pictures to take, fun stuff to chronicle.

Until then!

It's been too long.

No internet in our little camper home has made keeping this updated near impossible, but my laziness is what really did it in. So, for a brief update to whoever cares:

We live in Lenoir City now, still in the RV. About the same distance away from work and town, just in the opposite direction.

I still work at Starbucks, just got promote to a shift supervisor. The biggest blessing is, though, Alex found a job at the Tennessee Farmer's Co-Op, getting his hands dirty and talking farm talk with good ol' country boys, so he is thrilled to be there. He is still technically a temp worker, but is in training for a permanent position. He's making more money than he's ever made, and it looks like God is smiling on us financially. Our goal for the year is to wipe out what small debt we have left ( > $2,000) and build our savings.

Our Jeep Cherokee died, so we just bought a Saturn for me to drive. The Moeller's so generously let us borrow Emily's Bravada so Alex drives that, but we traded the Jeep in for a neat old Ford truck in very good condition, so once he changes the fuel pump and gets it running we'll have two vehicles of our very own. We looked and looked at vehicles but nothing would make Alex happier than a old truck he can tinker with and restore. Another smile from the Lord.

Housing is a different story. A friend of Alex's had told us that we could rent his rental home as soon as he was finished remodeling it, end of January-ish. So, we waited. End of January started to approach so we tried to get a hold of him, no luck. We tried several other times to no avail, so we are still in our little camper. We're keeping our eyes open, have spotted a few possibilities but now that winter is nearly behind us we are in no hurry. God will lead us to the right place at the right time.

It's fast approaching a year since we've lived in the South, and we feel more at home every day that passes. We're excited to see what lies ahead this year.

Wow, it's been a long time. I believe I promised several people in Indiana I'd keep this blog updated, but I have been failing at that lately!

I've been taking a couple of free (unaccredited) writing classes online lately, and I've signed up for a legit one through a real university online! Starbucks and Strayer University apparently have some kind of deal, and us employees have some classes we can sign up for, for free. So, if I like it, I may sign up for couple more next quarter.

My goal is to spend the next six months - one year taking classes and working on my writing skills. After I feel like I'm where I need to be, I plan on starting to submit pieces. I want to be a freelance writer for newspapers and/or magazines. We'll see where this takes me.

As part of my goal to really hone my writing skills, I am going to start blogging regularly again. Telling stories about my days, writing about things I care about, whatever comes to mind. So your feedback is valuable to me.

Anyway, other than that, life has been pretty uneventful around here. I've been working a lot. Alex hasn't been working a lot, but apparently Tremont starts back up in full swing for the fall, so he'll be busy soon. I honestly really enjoy working at Starbucks, some days are better than others, but altogether it's really a great job.

I'm really excited for fall. It's been a bit crisp here a few evenings, and I'm ready for the weather to be like that all the time! Jeans, cardigans, boots, hats and scarves here I come! Not to mention the leaves changing.. I'm so excited to spend fall in the mountains. Hopefully, I'll be able to get some pictures up!

Anyway, that is all for now, everyone. Until next time! 

it's been almost a month since i've last posted... i'm not good with blogging about the day-to-day stuff and my days have been so busy that they seem to run together. it's hard to believe that it's the middle of july. that this year is more than half over. but what a year it has been so far..

i'm really loving living here. i like the simplicity of living without a lot of bills, working on becoming financially free. working at starbucks is fun and rewarding, i really am starting to feel at home.

i'm sitting outside right now, listening to weedeaters, birds, and the road. it's warm, but a breeze is blowing. our a/c is broken, the part comes today to fix it!!! i have about an hour before i want to leave for work. some gentle acoustic music playing..

my birthday is next week. i like being 22, and i don't see 23 being much different. life gets more amazing every year i live it. i'm thankful i get this time here. and don't get me wrong, it's not like i don't have bad days. sometimes i feel like i have more bad days than good ones, but the bad days get easier and the good days far outweigh any of the bad.

good always wins.

even if evil seems to triumph for a while.
even the wise cannot see all ends.

i'm so thankful for alex, too. i couldn't do this without him. he saved me from myself, and life is so much bigger now. more beautiful. the transition from black and white to color, from 2D to 3D.

found this today online. there's a lot of truth in that.

this has been a rambling look into my life, and i'm sorry for any incoherence. i'll try to write again soon. 

Long time, no post, I know. I've started working at Starbucks, and that plus working at The Shire means 50+ hour weeks for me, leaving me a bit drained and short on inspiration! But, I'm starting to get used to the new routine so hopefully I'll be able to keep on top of this a bit more.

So, in recent news...
Our air conditioner is broken. The fan motor needs replaced, we finally found one online that is compatible, now we just need the funds to purchase it! Hopefully that will transpire in the next couple weeks. It's not horrible expensive, but we are going to Indiana next week for my sister-in-laws wedding and want to save what we can for the trip, hopefully fix it when we get back.

Alex is working part-time at Tremont, with my mother, cooking food for the summer camps and such they have there. He is loving working in the National Park and the easy pace and good pay. He is still landscaping for our friends and working at The Shire as well, so he is having some long weeks too!

Today, I took myself out on a lunch date to Panera Bread, which is where I am writing this from. I have to work at 3:30 and didn't really feel like spending the time in the very warm camper, seeing as the high today is supposed to be 91 degrees!

I've not done anything crafty, creative or fun in the kitchen these days! Any baking in the camper is put on hold until the a/c is fixed. Running the oven makes it simply miserable in there. Hopefully soon I can start whipping things up again. I've been dying to make a cinnamon raisin bread.

Anyway, that's all for now folks! I'm gonna finish my salad :)

saw this on tumblr. i tend to feel like that a lot. but, i guess i have to learn to be content and make the most of the life i have.

"When the morning comes

and Your mercy is renewed...

You're still the God who opens seas,

every flower, even me, 

You're all I need"

[bethany dillon]

There's nothing like drinking a Tazo iced chai latte on a hot May afternoon,

especially in a cute little cup.

We had to say goodbye to Faylene today, a dear friend who came to visit and to have some retreat time. She wasn't here long, but she blessed us with some cookies, rather, the mix that she had intended to make but the cabin she was in did not have any cookie pans or mixing bowls! But, I mixed them up this afternoon and made little sandwiches.

They were "strawberry lemonade" cookies. Not bad :)

I also made some tortillas today, but had to make white ones as I am out of wheat flour

They turned out really soft and pretty and I hope they'll be good as quesadillas tonight!


Other than that I've been spending the day praying, worshiping and in other words, trying to get my head on straight. Came across this verse today:

"It is in vain that you rise up early
    and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
    for he gives to his beloved sleep."

(psalm 127v2)

and that is exactly what i needed to read today.

Kitten Chow

A couple weeks ago, Alex and I were craving something sweet. Seeing as we hadn't been grocery shopping in  a while, our selection was somewhat limited. However, I, being so creative and awesome, came up with an amazing version of Puppy Chow. Last week, I made a bigger batch of this crazy good stuff to give to some friends. Puppy Chow, as you probably know, is chocolate and peanut butter coated Chex cereal. Kitten Chow is butterscotch and peanut butter coated honey graham cereal.

First, I started off with a box of generic honey grahams. I don't remember what size box, I just know it was the smaller one. I poured it into a large mixing bowl (use one that has a lid, preferably. You'll see why later.)

  

:::

Then, in a microwave safe dish, I took about a cup of butterscotch chips

Half a cup of peanut butter

And 1/4 cup butter

I melted it all in the microwave until runny and stirred until smooth. In this picture here, they needed melted just a little more to make the mixture really smooth

Then, I poured the melted mixture over the cereal and stirred with a rubber spatula until all the cereal was evenly coated

Then, I let it sit an hour to cool and let the mixture harden a little. After that, I sprinkled about 1/4 cup of powdered sugar.

I put the lid on the bowl and shook it.. this is what it looked like when I opened it!

Then, I packaged it all pretty-like to give to our friends:

Kitten Chow Recipe

1 small box honey graham cereal
1 cup butterscotch chips
1/2 cup peanut butter
1/4 cup butter
1/4 cup powdered sugar

Pour cereal into large container or mixing bowl, something that has a lid. In a microwaveable dish, pour the butterscotch chips, peanut butter and butter and melt in the microwave until smooth and runny, about 2.5 minutes. Pour over the cereal and stir with a rubber spatula until all the cereal is evenly coated. Let sit for an hour, until the mixture has cooled and hardened. Add powdered sugar and cover bowl. Shake until mixture is evenly covered with powdered sugar. Enjoy!

Thursday last week, we went on a morning hike to Abram's Falls:

and yes, that last picture is a bear cub! alex saw mama bear on the embankment on the other side of the trail, so we kept moving :)

today, i start working at starbucks! i'm excited and nervous. more excited, though. and we need the money, that's for sure. we've been keeping a very carefully balanced (and teetering) budget, with neither of us working regular jobs. but the lord has been faithful in making ends meet and we are learning more than ever the importance of being diligent in keeping a strict budget.

well, i must be off to get ready for work! tomorrow, i hope to post a recipe for a variation of puppy chow i like to call "kitten chow", but we'll see!

Bread, Revisted (aka the easiest, most delicious bread you will ever make)

Recently, I posted about a bread recipe I was trying. I had some success with it, but wasn't totally satisfied.

Today, however, I think I have made the best bread I have ever baked.

I started with The King Arthur Flour recipe for hearth bread (also known as "the easiest loaf of bread you will ever make"), as I did last time. And then, I made it my own.

Graham Flour Hearth Bread

• 2 cups warm water (about 110 degrees F)
• 1 tbs (approx one packet) dry instant yeast
• 1 tbs sugar (I used raw, organic sugar, but feel free to substitute honey or other sugar)
• 1 tbs salt 
• 2 cups graham flour (I used Bob's Red Mill. This is where you could substitute any whole-wheat flour of your choice. I happened to have graham flour on hand and loved the light, slighty sweet, airy feel I got with it.)
• 3 - 4.5 cups unbleached all-purpose flour (it would probably be ok to use a bread flour if that's what you have on hand.)

1. Mix the warm water with the yeast, sugar and salt in a large mixing bowl and let sit for five minutes. The top of the mixture will look foamy/bubbly.

2. Stir in the graham flour slowly, about a cup at a time. Add in the rest of the flour one cup at a time.You can use a mixer with a dough hook, if you're not like me and have it available and not packed in storage many states away haha. If you are mixing by hand, it will become really tough to stir and I used my hand to knead the flour in while it was still in the bowl.

3. When the flour is mixed in, turn the dough out onto a floured surface and knead for five minutes, adding a little flour if the dough gets too sticky. Let it rest for two minutes, then knead for another three minutes. Shape dough into a large ball.

4. Oil a large bowl and set the dough inside, then turn it over so the top is oiled. Cover with a dish towel and let sit in a warm spot for 45 min - 1 1/2 hours, until the dough has doubled in size.

5. When the dough has doubled, punch it down the bowl and split it in half. Take half and press it out flat. Now, shape it how you like. I tried doing 2 small boule shapes last time, but I had a small pan and a small oven and that didn't work out very well. If you have a normal sized (not a camper sized) kitchen, unlike me, feel free to make boule shapes! This time, I made a Italian loaf, which is a little wider than a French loaf. Preheat your oven to 400 degrees F.

6. Using a sharp knife, slash the bread. On an Italian or French loaf, about three slashes is right. On a boule, you may want to do a criss cross on the top. Gently place your loaves on a greased baking sheet Spray or brush the bread with a cold water. Then, bake until golden brown on top, about 30 - 45 minutes.

See? If I can do this in a camper, you can do this at home! So easy. And you know exactly what is going in to, so there is no need to worry about preservatives or other not so nice additives.

Things have been pretty laid-back in the Moeller camp these days.

On Thursday, my second-youngest brother turned 14. I have a brother who is 21 and one who is 14. That makes me feel rather old. However, I still have a brother who is only 10 so maybe I'm not too old :)

 I decorated a cake for him, isn't it lovely? Haha, it was the best I could do with all my piping bags and tips packed in a storage building in Indiana.

We've been spending our weekends putting in some hours and earning our keep at the campground's food stand, named "The Shire". I'm not sure why they named it that, but since I feel rather hobbit-ish most the time (being on the short side and perhaps a bit too fond of eating) I think we fit right in.

 We use the smoker to make a wonderful smoked chicken salad, and maybe also just for the ambiance of it all.

 the gorgeous mountains provide a spectacular background.

workin' hard... aren't we cute? hehe :)

today has consisted of two new baking adventures in my tiny camper kitchen.

first, homemade bread. i used King Arthur's flour recipe:

1 tablespoon (1 packet) active dry yeast
1 tablespoon sugar
1 tablespoon salt
2 cups warm water (not over 110°F)
5 1/2 to 6 cups King Arthur Unbleached All-Purpose Flour 
(I used 3 1/2 cups all-purpose, unbromated, unbleached white flour from the natural food market and 2 cups Bob's Red Mill whole wheat flour)
cornmeal 
(I used graham flour, which was probably a mistake)
boiling water (didn't even use this)

Basically, you mix together the first four ingredients. Let this stand until the yeast, sugar and salt are dissolved. I added the flour one cup at a time until it was was well mixed (which wasn't easy). Then I turned the dough out onto the floured counter and kneaded for five minutes, let it rest while I cleaned and greased (with olive oil) the mixing bowl, kneaded for another two minutes and then shaped the dough into a ball

I put it in the greased bowl, and let it rise for an hour and half, until doubled. Then I punched it down, kneaded it a little on the counter to get the bubbles out and shaped it into two roundish-oblong loafs..

As you can see, my oven has no racks so i have to improvise by putting the sheet pan on top of a cake pan. 

Apparently, the idea to make a rounder loaf than the recipe called for (it said to make french or italian loaves) maybe wasn't the best idea..

Ha. Funny shaped bread. It still tastes great, though. I was modelling the loaf shape from a hearth bread I made from The Bread Bible (my copy of which is, alas, in a box in a storage building in Indiana. Why or why did I not have the presence of mind to take it with us?!) 

I also made whole-wheat tortillas today, which while less adventurous, turned out fairly well but next time I am going to try to find a different recipe

Now, off to clean up, then make alfredo sauce for dinner tonight!

Hello blogger. Right now, I'm sitting in my camper, smelling bread bake in the oven and listening to the rain and the civil wars. it seems like a change of blog is fitting for the changing pace that is taking place now. i'll be posting pictures and updates and hopefully sharing the fun, insights, adventures and thoughts that take place in our crazy life :)

for previous posts please go to my tumblr blog